Yi Ming's labyrinth

Just went through a bicker with my eldest sister. Did not think that it will end this way, I did not want it. Nobody wishes that a conversation with a loved one would end with a quarrel. My mother as a pessimist blamed me; but it was actually my sister's stubborn attitude that was the matter.

I just wanted to joke with her and did not know that her reaction would be like that. I never wanted to cause trouble, nobody wants to be the troublemaker. Maybe I was too rash, but I was very stressed too.

The mouse year is arriving! I feel very excited when it comes to chinese new year, especially this year since I would not risk to be the only daughter at home"celebrating" it, my sister is coming back! What fun. I feel more and more attached to calligraphy as I wrote "dui lian" for decoration and also preparation for competition.

What's fun about Chinese New Year is not because of angpaus or new clothes, I just feel at home and enjoying the time. Although after that it would be my school's first term exam, I will still enjoy myself. The best feeling during the new year is that I feel rejuvenated, all over again since the European's new year. It is so symbolic, filled with love, happiness and sharing. Not leaving out the food, the all the activities we do during the new year.

We still follow the tradition of going back to father's hometown on the first day and to mother's hometown the next. I believe that I will keep up the tradition too if ever I really get married. Not planning to anyway, since I don't plan on depending on any man, standing on my own feet that's what I intend to do.

I seems still so far away before we celebrate it but time really flies. Especially when you are about to grow out of your teens, the world doesn't seem so friendly anymore and you have to try very hard to keep your spirit up.

I have often thought how many years will pass before I celebrate new year with both my sister and brother along with my parents again. Studying abroad has become a necessity to us all as in our country there are only a few oppurtunities and we have to broaden our view. As the saying goes," travelling for thousand miles is always better than reading thousand books", my sister and brother are both overseas.

In this new year, what I do wish is that my family will become closer and all of us can enjoy ourselves in this annual celebration where we come together for dinner and also for a new beginning. I always love a new beginning.

Sometimes I feel torn apart between listening contently in class and answering to my friend's question or either comment to them, my class's number two never ever does that. But I am more sociable than her, yet I am behind her in terms of academic.

Today I had to struggle with my self discipline, my principle that I should always respect anyone who is giving a lecture, speech, seminar etc. and with talking to my best friend. I did not talk to her for a long time already, I mean a hearty talk. The reason being we were both very busy, and also because she is in the art stream and I am in the science stream, studying in different blocks too. Thus, I do not see her very often and I did not have the chance to gossip to her too.

I don't know, she used to be my worst enemy but then it turns out that your worst enemy usually is your best friend. I did not like her the first time I saw her, partly because of pride and prejudice and partly because at that time I was quite raw too, very childish and I judged that she has a detestable character. But years after that I quickly changed my prejudice into speedy liking towards her character. She is a very amiable person, and we have endless things to talk about. I feel fortunate that I have the wisdom to put aside the animosity I had for her and replace it with mutual friendship instead.

I have a lot to talk about to the friend sitting next to me in class too. We have much in common, but she is not the friend that you could confide in, partly because this kind of thing needs a kind of invisible intuition from each side and she naturally lacks that. However, I tend to treat her very generously and kindly too, she was my primary schoolmate.

However hard it seems to partake the discipline side or the socialising side, I think that I would always find a balance between them. I would tell my friends that I want to concentrate, try to withhold any desire to communicate too and then socialise after that. Of course, I could discuss some things with them too, but that would be quite dangerous actually.